What’s the Deal with Resolutions, Anyway?

Every January, resolutions are thrown around, whether you engage or not, you will hear many planning theirs. This is the year.... New habits. New body. New you.

And yet… many of them quietly disappear by February.

So what is the deal with resolutions? Are they helpful, or quietly working against us?

When Resolutions Help

Neuroscience tells us that “fresh starts” matter. Our brains like clear markers, new weeks, seasons, birthdays, because they create psychological distance from the past. That this is different feeling can genuinely boost motivation.

Resolutions work best when they:

• Offer direction, not pressure

• Are flexible and values-led

• Feel like support rather than self-correction

When a goal is framed as moving toward something meaningful, we engage the brain’s planning and learning centres. That’s very different from goals driven by guilt or comparison, which activate stress responses instead.

When Resolutions Backfire

Many resolutions carry an unspoken message: something about me is wrong.

“Fixing” ourselves through rigid rules, all-or-nothing thinking, or sheer willpower fills the stress bucket fast. And under stress, the brain doesn’t build new habits, it clings to familiar ones.

Add guilt, shame, or a sense of failure and motivation drops even further. We don’t need more pressure, we need more safety.

The Missing Piece: Time

Lasting change takes time.
To build new habits, the brain has to lay down and consolidate new neural pathways and that only happens through repetition, rest and consistency, not perfection.

Wobbles are part of the process. When they happen, the most helpful response is simple: we pick ourselves up and carry on.

Because when we pile on guilt, shame, or “I’ve failed” stories, we refill that stress bucket and feel dreadful about ourselves which makes it far harder to stay on a positive path.

A Kinder Alternative

Instead of rigid resolutions, what if we focused on:

• Intentions over rules

• Experiments over ultimatums

• Progress over perfection

Let's start rewarding effort, not just achievement. Change sticks when we feel safe and supported. Not when we’re rushing ourselves toward an imaginary deadline.

So maybe this year, the goal isn’t a new you...
just a more compassionate way of moving forward.

Be kind to yourselves and those around you 💗

Love Jo x